A few hours ago I found out that someone I knew-not a good friend or family member has died. It was a terrible shock, she was a mum of young children, she herself was young and as far as I knew she had not shown signs of being unwell. The thing is she wasnt unwell it seems she became a victim of domestic abuse. I will not go into details-they do not count. What does count is the number of (mainly-but not solely) women who are assaulted-or worse by the person who professes to love them. Yet again, I am breaking the promise to myself to keep this blog 'light & positive'. I am going to admit hear that I have been a victim of domestic abuse-not D, never D. In the years before D, the father of my children told me he loved me, he would cuddle me in bed, kiss me goodnight. He would also tell me how I should 'get rid of' our 6 day old son because I was feeling weepy & down. He would tell me how I wasn't 'quite right in the head' because I saw a counsellor for a while. He would call me fat & tell me how sexy other women were. All things that are probably quite minor. He also made me have sex with him in return for money or for clothes. If I refused he would be angry and have terrible moods. One day, he took it further and told me that night he was going to assault me or 'batter me up & down the house'. And all this time I did nothing. He didnt do anything that night but about a year or so later he did and still I didn't leave. It took years for me to leave. It isn't easy and if you haven't been through it I don't think you can fully understand it.
Eventually I left, it's years now and there have been many flashbacks and scary times. I upset D because he knows that after all this time deep down I still think that one day he will show his true self, I love him more that I could have ever imagined and trust him as much as I could trust anyone.
If you are suffering, please get help, start here: